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Being a parent has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. When we were children it all looked so easy, and we constantly criticised our own parents for making disastrous mistakes, all of which we swore we’d never make if and when we ever got to be parents ourselves. So here we are, making whole reams of mistakes of our own, and finding that whatever we think is the right thing to do, our children, or our children’s friends have other ideas. We look at other parents, who seem to manage fine, and then we look at our own mess and wonder what went wrong. Being a parent is very much like being up a creek without a paddle, and the boat’s leaking. Each day seems another battle has to be won.

One aspect in particular which has worried parents today, and which was not an issue back in the days when we were children, is the advent and proliferation of computers and other technologies which allow our children to meet, interact and communicate online with people from all over the world, and to spend hours glued to a screen focussing entirely on moving bunches of pixels from one place to another in a desperate attempt to do strange things like finish the ‘Quest of The j’Graa Goblet’ or seek out Lord Krakticka to pwn him with the rest of the guildies. If this means nothing to you, then join the club - it’s a big club, with a growing number of members.

Parents aren’t idiots - we’re most of us quite capable of working a computer, typing up a letter, creating a graph and sending off some emails, but computers seem to have a whole other world built in to them that leaves many of our generation reeling at the prospect. For those of us who shred our telephone and gas bills before binning them, and always ask to see the identity card of the man standing at our doorstep wanting to read our meter, the idea of happily posting your most intimate details on a worldwide system for the entire world to see and do what they like with is awful. Whilst having friends all over the world sounds appealing, having friends we have never met and are never likely to challenges our understanding of what friends are. Just because you hang out in Doom Forest killing dwarves from the opposite faction each evening doesn’t, in our traditional book, constitute a friendship.

Then of course there are our worries and concerns regarding the dubious people online that are simply there to lure our children to some dark alley and do what they will with them. We hear the statistics and see the news stories of yet another child who met up with some stranger from the internet and was never seen again, and it’s easy to be tempted to unplug the computer and throw it on the bonfire as though tainted in some evil way.

But the truth is that it is not the computer which is dangerous, and the internet is not an enemy or something dark and subterranean that we should, or could, avoid. Every day we take many risks that could potentially endanger our lives. We drive a tonne of metal at sixty miles an hour just feet from other lumps of metal coming the other way, and accept this as perfectly normal. We stand far more chance of being killed driving on the road than we do of encountering danger on the internet. The difference is both in perception, and understanding. We perceive danger in the internet largely because of a lack of understanding, but because we understand the nature of the risks of driving, we see less danger. We wouldn’t drive on the motorway blindfolded, because we’d almost certainly be killed. Being voluntarily blinded to the risks of the internet not only increases our perception of the danger, but the actual level of risk involved.

So what are the main problems with using the internet, and what can we as parents do to help increase the safety of our children whilst they are enjoying this resource? The most important, and ultimately effective method of helping to support our children is education. This means education of ourselves, and education of our children. The more that you know and understand what is meant by messenger software, chat rooms, online games, profiles and avatars, the more you’ll be able to help your child understand the dangers, and the benefits of using the internet in a safe way. Remember, we’re not trying to scare our children away from the internet - it’s always going to be around and we’re not going to be able to stop them in the end, but we can help make them aware of the issues and help them make educated decisions themselves.

We spend time as parents teaching our children about ’stranger danger’, and make sure they understand not to interact with anyone they don’t know. They have it drummed in to them from an early age that they should not talk to strangers, go off with them, accept lifts or sweets or invitations, and that if they suspect anything is wrong, run back home or to safety straight away and tell someone. This same policy and understanding is often lacking online. The strangers are still there, most of whom are perfectly decent, but many are sadly using the anonymity of the internet to hide behind fake profiles. Our children understand about strangers in the street or park. But online, people aren’t strangers. They have photos, names, hobbies, backgrounds, families and favourite music. The fact that these profiles may be entirely fake seems to pass our children by.

A cursory look through the internet, or the shelves of your local computer retailer, you’ll see hundreds of so-called solutions. These typically lock down your computer, creating barriers and firewall, monitoring the use of the computer, logging and recording everything that takes place, and generally creating a regime of fear on the computer. But since this only generates either resentment, or curiosity within our children, the best solution really is to communicate with them. We taught them about the dangers of strangers, crossing the road, and real life - why not extend those skills to the virtual world? By having the computer somewhere visible, rather than hidden away in their bedroom, you will have a chance to see what they’re doing, talk to them about it, ask questions, and help to inform them so that they can make the decisions about the risks they take themselves. We can’t lock our children away in a safe room somewhere - but we can help to arm them with the tools they need to stay safe in the 21st century.