by Lisa Copen
1 in 3 people in the U.S. have a chronic condition. If it’s not you, it’s someone sitting next to you or a friend who has yet to reveal her greatest personal struggle.
Too often, a chronic illness, such as fibromyalgia, or a chronic condition like back pain from a car accident, is invisible. Surprisingly, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, approximately 96% of the people who have an illness do not use an assistive device, for example, a wheelchair or cane. Pain is invisible and those who live with chronic illnesses do everything they can to look presentable, get to church, and sit through the service.
I distinctly remember trying to make it through a service. My rheumatoid arthritis was flaring a great deal. I stood up during worship when they announced, “Please stand,” but I had to grab onto the pew in front of me just to balance. With knees that need join replacement and feet that are deformed and breaking down, I nearly laughed as the worship song lyrics were, “I will stand in spite of pain.”
Even as I was surrounded by people in a church I loved, I still felt as though no one understood what I was going through-physically or emotionally.
It’s no secret that churches feel responsible for the many needs that already must be fulfilled in their church body and when someone shares another need it can be seen as an inconvenience. And these needs are visible ones. So the question from pastors is often, “If people aren’t saying anything about their pain, then that means they are dealing with it fine? Right? We tell them to send in prayer requests or let us know if they need anything and they don’t speak up, so evidently they are doing okay with it? Their faith should sustain them during those valleys.”
Let’s look at some staggering statistics:
- Despite what we may assume, 60% of those who live with daily illness or pain are between the ages of 18 and 64. - The divorce rate among the chronically ill is over 75 percent. - Depression is 15-20% higher for the chronically ill than for the average person. - Various studies have reported that physical illness or uncontrollable physical pain is major factors in up to 70% of suicides.*
So there is a cause for concern. Whether a pastor or church leadership can see it or not, those church pews are packed with ailing bodies. And the suffering bodies are filled with broken spirits. These are the broken-hearted that Jesus promises blessings for.
So the question remains, if people don’t talk about their pain, but they still have a need to learn how to cope with it and find hope, how does a church reach out to them most effectively?
1) First, take the time to conduct a survey about the needs people may have that they are not vocalizing, especially if you are a large church where people may be more reluctant to talk about their illnesses (or lack of healing thus far). In a recent Barna group study, it was found that larger churches were the least likely to mention congregational care ministries as a priority (Church Priorities for 2005 Vary Considerably).
In your survey ask questions such as, “If we provided a van for transportation to church events, would it increase your attendance? If our service was online as a web cast, would you listen or watch it when you were too ill to attend? Do you know who to contact at our church if you have personal needs for personal assistance (especially when your condition is chronic, not acute)? Would having the song lyrics available on paper be easier for you to see than just having the overhead? How could we make the service more comfortable for you, for example, are the seats comfortable?” Sit down with a group of people who manage daily chronic pain and ask them for a wish list. Then prioritize what your church can do immediately and what should be longer term goals.
(2) Provide a small group/Bible study setting for those with illness. For example, Rest Ministries, the largest Christian organization for the chronically ill, has a small group program called HopeKeepers which provides a wide variety of resources, Bible studies, and leader support for this purpose. You may find that although people enjoy the small groups they are in, they can start to feel that talking and praying about their illness week after week is a burden to others in the group. They often enjoy having a specific place where everyone “speaks the same language” and even giggles at the same jokes. It can be invigorating. And if only a few people come, that’s okay. It brings people comfort to know the church has this oasis when they need it.
(3) Invite guest speakers who have physical disabilities or live with chronic illness. There are amazing people that speak at churches, sharing their testimony and a wonderful message. By letting them be on stage and reveal what God has done in their lives, despite physical challenges, lets people in your church who are ill see that you do in fact recognize their needs. It reminds them that you care, and perhaps most importantly of all, that you believe that people with physical challenges are still worthy to be used by God (a message few hear from their church). Speakers such as Dave Dravecky, Lisa Copen, Joni Eareckson Tada, Nick Vujicic, and many others, minister to the masses, not just those with disabilities.
(4) Consider adding a parish nurse to your staff, especially if your church body has a lot of seniors. According to the Marquette University College of Nursing, the number of parish nurses in United States is estimated to be about 6000. Many retired nurses are finding this area of ministry appealing and parish nurse certification can be found at most hospitals. The parish nurse position description can include anything from going to homes to monitor diabetes or high blood pressure of church members to organizing health fairs, screenings, and walking groups. The role of the parish nurse may cover the needs of your illness and disability ministries, depending on the demographics of your church. A parish nurse would also work closely with the congregational care pastor.
(5) Be a clearinghouse of helpful resources for the ill that are available for borrowing. Many people with chronic illness are on a fixed-income and yet they are trying to find encouragement. Stock your church library with books on living with chronic illness such as “Why Can’t I Make People Understand?” or “Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend,” by Lisa Copen or the exceptional book on suffering, “When God Weeps” by Joni Eareckson Tada. Buy a few subscriptions to magazines such as “HopeKeepers”, “Guideposts” and even “Arthritis Today.” Remember to have books on tape, audio presentations and large-print materials whenever they are available. Post flyers or have brochures available about chronic illness or disability ministries, such as Joni’s “Wheels for the World” program or Rest Ministries’ annual outreach, “National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week.” A volunteer could collect materials of local and national ministry resources for a binder; items could include lists of local resources and national ministries and put them in binder; lists of organizations, magazines and newsletters on topics for Christian seniors, those with disabilities, caregivers, and assisted living to name a few.
(6) Lastly, and most importantly, remember people with illness want to serve. Not just be served. This is because “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25). For example, when a woman tells you she is resigning from working in the nursery, let her know that she is welcome to serve in other ways when she is ready. She may find she enjoys writing encouragement notes to people who have an illness. A man may find he can mentor another man with a chronic illness one-on-one rather than leading a Bible study. Let them know that you value wounded healers and believe that God comforts us “so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Nearly twice per month someone tells me that after much prayer and consideration they went to their pastor with a request to start a chronic illness HopeKeepers ministry. And his response was “When you are healed, then you can minister to others. Until then you need to focus on yourself.” I’ve seen so many broken spirits because people are told, in so many words, that until God heals them, they are no longer useful to the Lord or the church body.
In Luke 14:21 Jesus shares a parable of a great banquet. When the host’s hospitality is turned down by his friends he responds by commanding, “Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.” This is still a mandate to us today, but we must remember that to provide a place where we offer hospitality, we must first “go out” into our own pews and provide a place of refuge; as we make small changes in our church to create that oasis for people with illness, then these people in our church will naturally be comforted. And then they will go out into the community with open arms of understanding and minister to others along this journey.
